ridiculous

As a teen, i happily occupied hours of time with nothing but thoughts of him. Now the thoughts intrude and wont leave me alone. Imagine you are forced to read the same page in a book, over and over, and over and over again. Or maybe listening to the same song day and night 24/7. I am supposed to be obsessed with a 'thing' or process, not with a person. I will go to the city today - left alone here all by myself, i think i will die of a heart attack when the next rush of thoughts begins.